Yesterday, I engaged in the highly dynamic and intense sport of going out at night.
It’s a traumatic experience on so many levels: it’s physically demanding, especially if I stay out until 6am, psychologically taxing as you must maintain sharp social skills in the middle of the night, and there’s always next-day drama. People are intoxicated, expenses add up, and nightlife always carries some risk, as it’s full of unpredictable people. The next day, you’re exhausted and hungover—even if you don’t drink. All in all, many people avoid doing it regularly because of these factors.
Of course, nightlife is fun, too, and there are many upsides, such as interacting with friends or meeting someone new with whom you might build an amazing connection. In today’s modern environment, it has become one of the best places to meet people. And since we are social creatures, we still go out at night, chasing those upsides despite the many downsides nightlife presents.
Still, I compare nightlife to a kind of extreme sport, as like any sport, it can be difficult to start, as you first need to learn how to do it. However, with time, people learn how to do it well, and the more they do it, the better they become. Some stay at beginner or intermediate levels, while a few strive to truly master it.
The same logic applies to nightlife for me. Since I know I’ll go out continuously throughout my life, I’ve decided to maximize the upsides and minimize the downsides. For example, I avoid drinking, prepare my mind for potential conversation topics, and condition my body to handle the grueling physical effects of the night.
Of course, all these skills extend beyond nightlife. Take physical well-being, for instance: I know it’s paramount to a good and happy life in all its aspects, which is logical. Yet, despite this, many people still don’t prioritize it enough. This suggests that not all motivation is equal and some reasons simply aren’t compelling enough to drive action. So if nightlife is the reason you get into shape, that’s a good enough reason in my book. Sure, this kind of motivation might be seen as a “wrong” reason, but if it yields a positive result, does it really matter?
Furthermore, the next-day hangover and the rationalization of the trauma make me want to improve so I can do even more next time—and the time after that. The same principle applies to any other part of life, like health, relationships, and work.
All in all, life throws many challenges at us daily, to the point that we can talk about existential dread—a sort of suffering that comes with the mere fact that we are alive, not to mention other, more complex reasons—which I’ll collectively call existential dread. Many people crumble under this tension, contributing to the mental health epidemic we know exists today.
However, I now use existential dread as motivation to become better—to prove to the world (and myself) that I can do better and be better, because I am not weak, and instead I am strong. So when life happens, as it always does, and things don’t go my way in small or big ways, I use that tension to give me additional motivation to overcome these challenges and become a stronger individual in the process. And when the same problem comes around again, I’ll be ready. I do this by reading, earning more money, going to the gym, writing this blog, and doing anything else necessary to feel better.
I also do it because being bitter isn’t a solution—it’s just part of the problem. After all, negative emotions exist to tell us there’s a problem, urging us to fix it so we can be happy again. However, some of these solutions don’t come overnight, and we need to put in the work. In an ideal world, we might want to avoid this effort, but realistically, we always need to do something to improve our situation. So we might as well put in the work to avoid being bitter, and instead to become better—and therefore happier, as we improve our lives overall.
So next time you’re facing the abyss, don’t flinch. Thank it for challenging you to become a better person and a better human being. Then go improve yourself in whichever way you think is necessary to achieve this goal.
And if you need support in achieving this goal, Optimal Happiness is here for you. Just send me a message if you’re looking for additional happiness coaching.
Thank you for reading, and stay happy!
