6 Practical Ways to Get Over Yourself

People are constantly crying over:

• The unfair hand life has dealt them,
• The wrongs that others have inflicted upon them, and 
• The perceived injustice that needs to be righted by somebody else. 

This type of limiting thinking does not benefit anyone, especially you. That is why you need to discard it and get over yourself.

Listen to me. You only live once and your life situation is your own, so you cannot outsource your happiness and wait for someone else to give you everything that you want. If this could be done, you would already have everything that you want, and if you don’t have it already, it is unlikely that you will have it in the future.

So yes, you need to get over yourself, and here are 6 major ways to conquer this self-defeating attitude:

Understanding what “Get over yourself?” means

The question of “how do I get over yourself?” is more common that you might realize. Many people feel inadequate, unhappy, and overall bad, and start thinking in terms of “how can I stop feeling negative?” which eventually translates into “how do I get over myself?”

On the other hand, when we tell someone else to “get over yourself,” it means that they should stop acting overly important, vain, or like the center of attention. In both cases, a person places themselves on a pedestal at the center of attention, making their feelings the center of the world. In this context, to get over yourself implies expressing a desire to fixing this negativity.

Still, as my teacher once said to me, “the more universal the pain, the more common the solutions,” and nothing is more universal than our desire to fix our negative emotions. In this way, I want to reassure you that whatever you are feeling today, your feelings are completely justified, your desire to be free of the pain is universal, and there is a solution to your pain that you can implement today in order to start living the life you’ve always wanted, and the first step is to start taking responsibility for your actions.

1. Take responsibility for your life

Taking ownership of your life is an important first step to get over yourself and create a life of freedom and fulfillment. Many people may think they are taking responsibility for their lives, but they just don’t do it enough. Sure, they may accept responsibility in certain areas of life, like at home or work, but what about everywhere else? What about taking ownership for their choices, the people they surround themselves with, and the decisions that impact their lives?

Some people may argue that taking full responsibility is too much, making excuses for why they approach responsibility in a limited way. But this limited mindset is self-defeating, perpetuating the belief that we can’t do it, that we’re not enough, and that others are to blame for our lives and problems, so they have to fix it, not you. This attitude leads to self-pity, wasted days, wasted life, and ultimately, more pain.

Instead, any limits we place on ourselves limit our potential as human beings. If you are currently suffering, remember that you should be doing more, not less, to create the life you desire. By taking greater ownership of your life, especially in areas where you feel the most hurt, you can begin to create positive change. And while you may not immediately achieve everything you want, you will at least be in control of your own life. This is the first and most important step in learning how to get over yourself and create the life you’ve always wanted.

2. Stop playing a victim

Victims are like emotional loan-holders, expecting others to absorb the cost of their pain. Whether it be tangible compensation, emotional absolution, or any other form of payment, victims expect others to bear the brunt of their guilt. In other words, they fail to take ownership for their lives, they outsource their pain, and never take the necessary steps to resolve their issues.

In terms of playing the victim, you need to stop expecting others to fix your problems, or, according to the above metaphor, you should forgive and forget all the loans you might have given out over the years. Sure, practically speaking, if someone owes you $10,000, you should do everything in your power to get that money back. However, to really be free from the burden of being a loan owner, you need to remember that money lent is money gone, unpayable, unrepayable, and unrefundable. This applies also to emotions or anything else for that matter. People may pay you back, or they might not. It’s outside your control and you shouldn’t let your life be defined by the actions of others. You want to be in control.

This victimhood reminds me of a book called Give and Take, where we are recommended to find a balance between giving and taking. If we give too much, we become loan owners, trying to get our investment back, while exclusively taking is unhealthy as well. There should be a healthy give and take attitude to our lives, which will ultimately help us to get over ourselves.

3. Take more action

American entrepreneur Grant Cardone recommends taking 10 times more action than we initially think is necessary in order to achieve success. He believes that many people fail to reach their goals because they do not dedicate enough time, money, or energy to pursuing their ambitions. As a result, they never accomplish anything significant and become negative and resentful. They start blaming themselves and others for their shortcomings, when in reality, they are simply not taking enough action.

To overcome this, Cardone advises becoming a productivity machine by taking ten times more action than we currently do. This will allow us to create a 10x life. In other words, in order to get over yourselves we need to take more action instead of less. Negative individuals often spend excessive time dwelling on their problems and feeling sorry for themselves, when their issues could be resolved if they simply took more action.

4. Stop looking at the green grass on the other side

The saying “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” is a metaphor that relates to comparing ourselves to others, and it can be a slippery slope into depression. Unfortunately, our whole society today is built around the idea that we can always have more in terms of quantity, better in terms of quality, or faster in terms of delivery time. By constantly chasing this idea of more, better, and faster, we are always looking over our shoulder at the grass that is supposedly greener on the other side of the fence, which only serves to make us depressed.

To overcome this mindset, we need to stop striving for the best life and instead accept that we already have enough and therefore we are enough. This doesn’t mean we should stop trying to improve ourselves, but rather that we shouldn’t define our happiness solely based on how much we have. If we achieve our goals, that’s great! But if we don’t, that’s also fine.

5. Stop carrying around past traumas

Every day, I witness a war between two of my neighbors who keep trying to block each other’s car driveways in revenge for something the other one did in the past. I’m not sure if either of them can remember what originally started this war, but now it does not matter, as they have accumulated a lot of baggage, and they are at each other’s throats.

The situation has been going on for so long that it has become a part of their everyday life, and it is clear that they are stuck in a cycle of resentment and retribution. If they do not find a way to break this cycle, then the situation will only continue to escalate.

Now, a mature way to resolve this would be for both parties to get over themselves, stop thinking of themselves as victims of the other person, apologize, forgive, and try to resolve this by finding a compromise they can both live with. For this, one of them (or ideally both) has to swallow their pride and stop carrying around past hurts, regardless of what it is, in order to apologize first and make the first move towards a resolution. Hopefully, the other side will get over themselves too and also make the effort to bury the hatchet so that a peaceful resolution can be reached.

The bottom line is that their war isn’t doing either party any favors, and it is damaging their mental and emotional well-being, as well as creating a negative atmosphere on our street. Both of them need to make the conscious decision to put the past behind them and move forward so that their lives can return to a state of peace and harmony. They can then use that negative energy for something more positive and creative, which is a great incentive to get over yourself.

6. Let go of your ego. It’s not real anyway

Similarly to the example above, people often use words like “I,” “me,” or “my,” such as “I am lonely,” “you hurt me,” and “this is my car” (which can break someday). In all these examples, our sense of identity (also known as ego) creates a sense of ownership over our lives, possessions, and situations. This ownership can cause great hurt when it is not respected, so since everything in life is constantly changing, clinging to our egos will only lead to pain in the long run.

In this way, the ultimate solution to get over yourself is to stop identifying with the self (aka ego), no longer attaching ourselves to a sense of ownership and pain, and opening ourselves up to the gift of life, greater joy, and happiness in the process.

While the concept of “letting go of ego” may be more advanced, mastering it can lead us to becoming the happiest version of ourselves. And if letting go of past pain and creating future happiness are your goals, then you are in the right place, as Optimal Happiness is here for you. We specialize in questions like “how do I get over myself?” and “how do I reach my fullest potential?” In fact, we have 10 years of experience in helping people do just that, and we offer a 30-minute free call with our experts who can discuss your situation, goals, and challenges, and create a roadmap for what you can do next to truly create the life you’ve always wanted. So don’t hesitate, book your call today!

Stay positive and test negative!