Meeting Face to Face with a Roadman

Yesterday, I was riding peacefully on the London tube (aka metro) when I encountered a roadman, or rather, he encountered me. I was on the escalator on my way home, minding my own business, when suddenly I heard:

“Oi fam, wha’cha lookin’ at.”

Translation:

“Hello sir, how are you doing? May I please enquire if you would like to fight with me today?”

Just for reference, a roadman is a modern Gen Z equivalent of a gangster, mobster, or a redneck. They prefer not to be associated with these old labels, so they have created a new version. They embody a culture of nonconformity in the way they dress, walk, talk, the music they listen to, and their overall behavior, even creating a small dictionary of slang they use regularly. 

Certainly, it isn’t a very happy culture regardless of what anyone will say, as generally speaking verbal violence (aka cursing), aggression, ill intent, loud music, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and similar actions aren’t synonymous with happiness. Or as we can see based on one conversation I overheard in a tube, where a roadman recounted a conversation he had overheard about a woman expressing fear of roadmen. This roadman just laughed about it, proud to be the object of that terror.

I mean, I’m sure there are roadmen who are happy, at least on a semi-regular basis. But generally speaking, it is like driving a car with the handbrakes on, as you don’t get as far with happiness due to all the anti-happiness behaviors that roadmen engage in.

In other words, in my professional opinion, roadman culture (and many other similar cultures) isn’t conducive to happiness. However, we can explain a wide range of seemingly strange behaviors as a desire to be happy. In practical terms, while all roads lead to Rome, some roads will take us faster toward this goal than others. In the case of roadmen culture, there are better ways to achieve happiness if that is indeed your goal, as generally speaking, happiness is still the undisputed #1 goal in virtually everyone’s lives, regardless of whether people are aware of it or not.

In my story, I was a bit surprised to realize that this “wha’cha lookin’ at” roadman was talking to me, as I certainly wasn’t looking at him. My attention was simply wandering inside the tube, and I might have looked at that guy for only a split second, enough time to upset that upstanding citizen.

On a side note, it’s funny (and sad) how low the standards of aggression have become. On a regular basis, I’m just walking down the street minding my own business, trying to be respectful toward others, and someone randomly decides to be angry at me.

It is now enough to look incorrectly at the wrong person to get into a fight, with many people avoiding eye contact altogether, fearful of speaking in public, walking on certain streets at certain hours, and overall afraid of fellow human beings who now come in all shapes and colors.

I mean, it tells me more about them than me, as they have issues, not me. Sure, lately with cancel culture, it is difficult not to do something wrong, such as accidentally blurting out something that someone doesn’t like, such as incorrectly using people’s pronouns or even just looking in the general direction of someone.

It’s almost like we have to be on our tiptoes to be aware of everything, staying updated on the latest trends so as not to accidentally offend someone. However, even then, our peace isn’t guaranteed, as just our existence can be an issue for someone, whether we’re white, black, Asian, man, woman, too tall or short, too young or old, too happy (such as my experience in Russia) or sad, having an accent, or belonging to a certain religion, etc., which can prompt others to behave violently towards us.

As for my roadman, he waited for me at the end of the escalator and followed me to the platform for pacing around for around 5 minutes, trying to get courage to confront me again, before catching an earlier train, probably deciding it wasn’t worth his time and energy to engage further with me. 

I wasn’t necessarily afraid or anything like that, but I did consider what I would do if he continued to follow me. I have never been in a fight, and I’m not necessarily looking for an opportunity to prove myself. I mean, if it really comes to it, I will defend myself, but even if I lose, I will make others believe that they will lose, too.

I call it the gazelle effect. When a lion chases two gazelles, it is the slightly faster gazelle that gets away. So, it’s not necessarily the best, fastest, or strongest that usually wins, but rather being bigger, faster, and stronger than everyone else. It’s only important to show that you are so, as for the most part, people will leave you alone in favor of a slightly weaker victim.

Still, this just showed me the nature of the world we are living in. In one of the so-called best capitals of the world, people are seriously disturbed, agitated, aggressive, pessimistic, and constantly on guard, ready to beef (aka fight) at a moment’s notice.

Now, is that the “civilized world” we were always aiming to achieve?

It’s true that when Europeans went on to colonize the world, they believed in the superiority of their civilization compared to other “less advanced” countries. They often justified their imperialist and brutal rule by claiming they were making the world a better place, even as they killed, enslaved, and plundered resources, destroying economies and hindering recovery to this day.

As such, it is ironic that the United Kingdom isn’t doing as well as it should be. Brexit was unsuccessful, there was a recent collapse of political leadership, high inflation, a significant rise in the cost of living compared to the rest of the world, issues with the NHS (free health care) not functioning adequately, and a host of other problems, with the roadman issue being just another symptom of the broader challenges the UK is facing.

Here, I am reminded of someone in Japan stating that they do not feel as safe as they used to living in Japan, which makes me laugh. I say that if you think this isn’t safe, you should see the UK, US, and many other countries in the world.

I mean, there are plenty of other countries in the world where people feel much happier and safer (or more scared) compared to London and the UK generally. Even women do not need a guardian when they go out from home, even at night, while dressing down, and they still don’t get unwanted attention.

I mean, London is still generally speaking a safe city where people need to keep mindful of basic safety rules to be safe 99% of the time. Certainly there are deranged people everywhere in the world, with Japan and other countries being no exception. However, it is the question of the percentage of time that abnormal things happen to people, and if they are happening too often, then there might be a good reason to move.

Still, I believe my overarching point is that in London, as one of the wealthiest capitals in the world, personal wealth doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. Some of the wealthiest individuals are also the most egotistical and narcissistic, and these traits are not conducive to happiness. In fact, it is the altruists and philanthropists who tend to be the happiest. This suggests a reverse relationship between wealth and happiness. Wealth, power, and living in the developed world may not always be as beneficial as they appear, as they can bring out the worst in human nature, negatively impacting human lives.

In the end, I believe a utopia on Earth is achievable in our lifetime. I am currently working on my second book on this very topic, as I have come to realize that if individual happiness is achievable regardless of who we are, where we are from, and our life circumstances (the focus of my first book), then it should be possible to extend this to a global scale.

Lastly, if you are seeking personal happiness, please consider booking a free 30-minute call with me and the Optimal Happiness team. During this call, we can discuss your challenges and goals, and devise a plan to significantly enhance your happiness and well-being.

Stay happy