SOS Low Self-Esteem Survival Guide (Check-List)

Yesterday, I was lying in my bed and negative thoughts were going through my head about everything that I didn’t know, have, and wanted to achieve. In a word, I was experiencing a low self-esteem moment, replaying all my well-known past traumas and future anxieties.

Still, being a happiness coach and one of the happiest people in the world, I have a set of SOS low self-esteem tricks and tactics, which I teach to my students and apply myself on a need-to basis, to help me continue to be one of the happiest people in the world.

I call this set of skills the SOS low self-esteem check-list, which I want to share with you today so that you too can enjoy more positive moments in your life. It is a checklist that consists of several elements that we need to consider:

1. Remember the anxieties of a multi-millionaire

In one of my happiness seminars, I met a man, a super achiever and a millionaire, who told me that he is anxious because of his own set of traumas, anxieties, and dreams, which in comparison to mine left me feeling like I’m playing in a children’s sandbox. I’m sure that virtually everyone else in the room was left feeling the same way, while for this individual, these were his real struggles. Obviously, the issue wasn’t his goals, but his low self-esteem.

For example, this multi-millionaire was anxious about not being a billionaire. His body fat was 10%, but he wanted to cut it in half. He had already met several A-list celebrities, but not the people he really wanted to meet, and so on.

This is when I reminded myself that my problems are, in comparison to the vast majority, a joke, and in fact, they may be desired by some other people. So it was a perfect time to run through my SOS low self-esteem checklist, which essentially consists of putting a few things into perspective with the ultimate goal of realizing that everything isn’t really bad, and that we actually have a lot to be happy about.

2. Continues to work on your goals

Also, it helps to remember that we can’t ultimately compare ourselves to virtually anyone else because everyone is on a different journey and has a different set of wants and desires. This means they can be literally several steps ahead (or behind) of us in different parts of life, so it’s unrealistic to make any meaningful comparison.

For example, compared to this multi-millionaire, I’m miles behind him financially speaking, but I am miles ahead in terms of my personal happiness and well-being.

Instead, it’s better to remind ourselves that all our desires are a list of goals that we can still aim to achieve, and act accordingly, working progressively towards them at our appropriate set time.

3. Know how you feel

Actually, this should have been the first point on the list of SOS low self-esteem checklist, but it was a bit less interesting compared to the story of a millionaire and related to do goal list, so here we are.

Still, knowing how we feel from moment to moment is the actual first step to learning to be happy today and forever, as without this realization, we can’t apply the correct techniques to remedy our negative emotions. 

\As such, to better understand how you feel from moment to moment, I recommend reading my book Optimal Happiness, attending one of our coaching courses, or simply to learn the true definition of happiness.

4. Consider your own physical happiness

Recently, I did something stupid but still won big, which left me feeling rather awkward because of that stupid thing I did, even though deep inside, I knew I should be celebrating. At this point, I decided to go for a run and hit the gym, which helped me address my physical happiness. 

Read more about physical happiness here.

5. Be your own devil’s advocate

On a different day, I was playing poker with my friends, which to me is a sport, not gambling, as I play for fun, low stakes, but still win more than I lose. Still, in poker, even the best hand can lose against something less significant, so when I lost, I had to tell myself that it wasn’t ultimately my fault, that I played well, and that it was just within the normal range of probability. 

Essentially, I gave myself a pep talk and was my own devil’s advocate, reminding myself that I was good, all things considered. This ability to talk to yourself is something we all should learn to do to turn negative emotions into positive ones.

6. Take yourself on a date

After the above poker story, I ultimately decided to buy myself a pizza, which isn’t something I do every day, and by myself, but this time, it was just me and the pizza. Essentially, I took myself on a date, something we should do regularly, especially if no one else is taking us on dates, if they don’t give us exactly what we want, and if they just don’t know us as well as we know ourselves. 

This suggests that ultimately we should take ourselves on dates regularly, and you can read more about this concept here.

7. Meditate regularly 

Something else, which I consider a must in terms of having balanced emotional well-being, is meditation. Unfortunately, it is very hard to explain, yet it is also one of the best practices for the SOS low self-esteem checklist idea, so I recommend you read more about it in a different, more dedicated blog post.

8. Throw away the mirror

I don’t want you to literally throw away the mirror, but figuratively speaking. For example, one of my friends who I consider good-looking confessed to me that they don’t feel as good-looking as me. At that moment, I believed this to be their true expression of low self-esteem. At the same time, I was thinking, “really?” as I believed they were better looking than me.

This story was a good reminder for myself and him to throw away the mirror, as often mirrors show us distorted reflections of reality. We are often our own worst critics, telling ourselves things that we would never accept hearing from anyone else. 

However, if we can just assume happiness, well-being, and high self-esteem, we become instantly happier, regardless of what anyone else (including ourselves) thinks about us.

9. Learn Optimal Happiness

Finally, this blog post, although well-written and informative, can never replace a well-thought-out course on the same topic. So, today, I want to offer you the opportunity to complete a full happiness coaching session and join the ranks of the happiest people in the world, which you can do here.

Stay happy!