Swiping Left and Right Straight Into Unhappiness

Swipe left, swipe right, it’s so easy nowadays to meet somebody, and it’s even easier to replace them if they eat weirdly at the dinner table on the date, or if they cracked some cheesy and embarrassing joke that you didn’t like, or if they are into some weird TV show that’s such a turn off for you. 

But is this really a good thing? Do we really benefit from having so many options readily available to us at the tap of a button? Are we really widening our horizons and pool of potential partners through the use of dating apps such as Tinder or Hinge? Can we be happy with our society quickly becoming centered around this fast-paced, superficial dating culture that requires us to create and maintain an Instagram perfect image? 

How Tinder, Hinge and Bumble Affect Our Lives

Online dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge and Bumble are centered around showing off a “perfect” image of yourself to nearby people, to try to get as many potential matches as possible. Unfortunately, this culture of dating creates massive superficiality as people are more and more focused on appearances and create “fake” images of themselves, which involves placing more and more emphasis on looking and acting a certain way in order to land dates. 

What’s worse is that because it’s so easy to swipe left or right and replace people on a whim, our society now promotes a culture of sleeping around and casual sex. Most people are unaware and engage in casual sex as “everybody is doing it”, and most have never taken the time out to think about the impact it could have on their views of what a relationship should be. Unfortunately, most never realise that in the long run, it will prevent you from having raw, deep and spiritual sex with the right partner, and this type of sex is incredibly essential in achieving a deep, meaningful relationship, which is a huge key to happiness within our Social Pillar. 

Dating apps, image of cellphone showing Tinder app.

Training Our Bodies

What most people don’t understand is that we are training our bodies to react in a certain way. Through having many different partners and engaging in casual sex, you will train your body and mind to strive for and desire the new, the fresh and the uncertain. However, what we should be striving for is familiarity, rawness with a single partner who will support you, be a true friend to you, and journey with you throughout the difficult and happy times. 

Casual sex may seem like a lot of fun in the short run and it might satisfy short term physical cravings, but if we want lasting happiness, we should be focusing on the long run. When a deep and meaningful relationship is built, sex becomes a spiritual act, with the connection of two individuals, and this feeling of true enlightenment will advance our Transcendance Pillar, therefore resulting in higher levels of happiness. 

Other, surprisingly very common things, such as masturbation, also trains our bodies in negative ways to react in specific ways. Through masturbation, people are again training themselves to feel pleasure in a certain way, and it often results in situations where a partner cannot satisfy the person sexually as their body has been trained to react to masturbation. 

Porn is another key thing which also works against creating deep relationships for happiness. Watching porn (also usually accompanied by masturbation of course) promotes unrealistic expectations of sex, promotes “perfect” bodies and unrealistic ideals of lust rather than love. People strive for these lust filled sexual scenarios, lifting focus from what true sex and true relationships are all about – trust, rawness, honesty and spirituality. 

Dating apps, an image of a man lifting at his girlfriend on his back.

So What Exactly Should We Be Striving For? 

True relationships should have no filters, both people should be able to be themselves in a natural way, with no pressure to create fake and unrealistic images of themselves. Trust, honesty and rawness is built upon positive, calm and empathetic communication. 

Sex should come naturally, with both partners communicating their likes and dislikes openly, and the focus should be on the other, and if approached from a spiritual perspective, sex can become a mindful exercise which has the potential to reach a stage of enlightenment. 

Casual partners will not be there for you when you need them the most, such as if you get into a major accident affecting your health, if you need true emotional support or if you need help with your purpose in life. However if porn, casual sex, and masturbation are avoided, it is far easier to develop a mindset, body and readiness towards a raw and deep relationship.

Roman Russo

Roman Russo

Roman Russo is the visionary founder, senior happiness coach, and Chief Happiness Officer of Optimal Happiness. He has written the revolutionary Optimal Happiness: The Fastest and Surest Way to Reach Your Happiest Potential, a must-read book about achieving our happiest potential. After researching this field for over eight years, Roman is confident that anyone can become happy and invites us to undertake this transformation. Are you ready to start living the life you always meant to live?

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