Hey everyone, thank you for being an avid reader of Optimal Happiness. We are here for you. If you have any questions related to your happiness, unhappiness, well-being, positive, negativity, life questions, curiosities, opinions, or anything like that, we’d love to answer them for you!
Feel free to ask me anything in the comments section or send your questions to <roman (at) optimalhappiness.com>. I will answer your question via a blog post, social media post, or in a private message.
A lot of happiness-related knowledge (or life in general) has already been shared on this website, but there is always so much more! We will help if we can, as much as we can. Just let us know.
Looking forward to our discussion.
10 thoughts on “Ask Me Anything About Your Pursuit of Happiness”
What is happiness like? Is it smiling all the time or a peaceful contentment, or is some sort of mix between pain and pleasure, like masochism?
In my opinion, people can get used to anything, even enjoying masochism. However, I question whether all these different behaviors are healthy. In other words, cocaine can give you short-term pleasure, but is it therefore desirable? I would argue not. True and unconditional happiness must be found in the right behavior, as right as possible, so to speak. This raises a different question: “What is the right behavior?” I would say take two different behaviors and compare them side by side to conclude which is superior, i.e., which brings the greatest happiness to the greatest number. For example, is masochism better than no masochism?
The second part of the question requires us to understand what happiness is, which is a positive emotion connected to our sense of well-being (https://optimalhappiness.com/what-is-happiness-definition/). Many people believe that we can’t experience happiness without some unhappiness, but this isn’t true (https://optimalhappiness.com/happiness-unhappiness/). As an authority on happiness, I say that we can be happy virtually all the time, and it isn’t in any way unhealthy. In fact, there are psychological and physiological benefits that come with maximizing happiness. So, that smile 24/7, if it’s genuine, is good to have.
You have a very interesting point of view. My name is Jon Praker, and you and I have something in common. We also have some things that are not in common. But I’m very interested in your ideas. Maybe we can find time to collaborate on something in the future. Thanks.
Hey Jon, sure. Anything specific you had in mind?
I think that our styles, while very different, could almost complement each other… Like “the odd couple” for self development. I’m not sure what kind of form that could take… But I am very curious about the result of it. I’m going to get your book today and read it. I’m really intrigued by the way you structure your philosophy. And I always try to follow the old adage “the obstical is the way”. I need to learn beyond my own preferences. I’m sure you know what I mean.
As for the question tympanmem asked… Happiness is subjective and can manifest in an infinite number of ways. It’s yours to define. A dictionary defining the ideal is kind of a moot attempt because of that. Then there are social limitations and objectively seeing what it is in the collective before it could be defined. While there are benefits to “being happy”, don’t forget that there are more direct things that contribute to your well-being, health (mental and bodily) as well as the ones around you that you care about, care for, and protect from the things that are needlessly painful. Their happiness is a piece of yours as well.
Sorry, what did you mean by tympanmem? I defined happiness in my own unique way because I was unhappy with the infinite ways we can define it (I recommend checking out my book or attending one of my happiness programs to learn my full definition). The truth is, if we can’t define happiness, if we say there are as many definitions as there are people in the world, then we can never truly talk about it, and this is part of the problem of why so many people are unhappy today: they don’t know what to look for, and many simply miss the mark. At the same time, happiness is a universal need and desire. So it’s almost funny to me how many people wish for it, desire it, and even promise it, yet practically and concretely, they don’t know what they’re talking about…
Tympanmem is the guy who asked the question originally.
I appreciate your perspective, Roman, but I can’t agree that happiness can or should be something we experience ‘virtually all the time.’ That sounds more like an idealized state than something human beings actually live. To me, happiness isn’t about constant pleasure or even about always doing the ‘right’ thing by some external standard. It’s about being able to embrace the full range of experiences — joy, pain, struggle, growth — and finding meaning in them. In fact, I’d argue that trying to force happiness into a constant state actually undermines its depth and authenticity.
I will definitely check out your book. I just wrote my first book, by the way. It’s free to download off my WordPress Site. I don’t expect you to read it, I was just letting you know that I agree with a lot of your response. Your confidence and your authority are very inspiring