Crucial Conversations: How Many Have You Had Already?

I used to have a problem with a flatmate who was very dirty. As a result, I would become very passive-aggressive towards them, feeling angry and bitter. I would leave a lot of indirect signs whenever I could, but I never really told them directly what I wanted. I shied away from having a crucial conversation.

Then I stumbled upon a book by Kerry Patterson called Crucial Conversations. In essence, this book spoke about the power of being completely honest and just saying things as they are, rather than trying to hide our real intentions or while dancing around the real issue.

That’s when I confronted this person, without fear or hatred, and had my first crucial conversation, at least intentionally. I can’t say that we fixed the issue, but at least I got off my chest how I felt, and it was like a boulder of weight was lifted from my soul.

Since then, I’ve had another crucial conversation with someone who was falling in love with me much quicker than my mind was able to process. The last time this happened, I ended up in a relationship driven by my indecision and fear of expressing what I truly wanted. That relationship eventually ended when my past indecision caught up with me, leading to a break up.

This second time around, I was almost caught off guard and nearly repeated the same situation as before, reminding me of a quote that states that lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned. 

So did I learn anything? I hope so. At the very least, I spoke my truth, and we will see where it leads, so it will be on my terms now.

This is why I highly recommend that you take a look at your life and the issues you are facing, and reflect on where you may not be performing as well as you could due to indecision, as by not being completely honest with yourself and others, you may hinder your growth, which in turn hinders you from reaching your full potential.

This self-awareness has been a significant source of learning and growth in my own life, and I consider it one of the stepping stones that has helped me become a better, more complete, and happier person.

As such, I can’t recommend enough books like:

– Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson
– Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton
– Mode One by Alan Roger Currie
– Radical Candor by Kim Scott

This is indeed one step on the path to personal growth, freedom, and happiness that we all need to take eventually as we become more mature and fulfilled individuals. 

In turn, the full formula for happiness is discussed in this blog, my book Optimal Happiness, and the courses we teach on this website.

So, how many crucial conversations have you had? And did they indeed change your life?