Closet Pessimist? Challenge Your Negative Beliefs and Negativity Bias

Currently, I’m living with a housemate who is a pessimist. I pretty much told him so, but he rejected my words. Yet, the evidence states the contrary. 

How to Recognize a Closet Pessimist?

I call a closet pessimist someone who is a pessimist but does not admit himself to be so.

To prove that my flatmate is such a person, I have accumulated several evidence pieces, first being how he talks. Often, in a random conversation, which has nothing to do with the topic of happiness (and nothing else for that matter), he states things like “the worst comes to worst,” “I’m not mad at you,” or Me: “Hey bro” He: “What’s wrong?” I call this form of talk as negatively framed statements since a person uses negatively framed words in how he speaks, thinks, and writes. To me, using negatively framed words is not a dead giveaway that a person is a pessimist, but if they use these words often enough, it becomes that much obvious. 

Another sure sign of pessimism is materialism and egocentrism, which are prevalent in our current society. Yes, books of studies are written on altruism vs. egoism and minimalism vs. materialism, showing that happier people are less materialistic and egoistic. Thus, guess what the preference of my flatmate regarding these two statements is?

Lastly, to be happy is hard work and happy people work hard to maintain their positive mood. Oppositely, being negative is easy. Just do what you always did, and you will get pretty much the same results. In turn, pessimists don’t believe that extra work will lead to positive results. They are trapped in the, whereas they don’t believe that they can improve their current situation Negative Belief Bias, so why bother? Respectfully, if anyone is to challenge them about their negative state, they are likely to hoard a book full of excuses as to why happiness is impossible. 

How to Recognize a Closet Pessimist?

Why Do People Hide Behind Pessimism? 

We can fake positive emotions as quickly as we can tell a lie. The most famous example of this is a woman who came to a happiness seminar, and despite her claims that she was happy, her words, tone of voice, and body language told a different story. And yet, she was at this happiness seminar, right? What was she doing there? Did she forget her keys there from the previous event?

Of course, I always remind people that the easiest place to be happy is at a happiness seminar. After all, the whole point of such a meetup is to make a person feel happy. But what happens outside such an event, when all the incentives to be happy are gone? 

We are said to be a hero of our own story. When we are confronted with evidence that we are under performing in certain parts of like, like happiness, our psychology defends us by creating a narrative of blaming, denying, or justifying why this is incorrect and why we are still perfect. This self-defense mechanism allowed us to accept a lot of negativity in our lives and still feel good about ourselves. And yet it is the same mechanism that prevents us from being happy. 

Why Do People Hide Behind Pessimism?

Why We Can’t Save Hidden Pessimists?

Henry Ford said that “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” This same quote applies to pessimism, whereas if a person believes themselves to be unhappy and that there is no way around it, then he is right. To this point, often, people can’t perform in a specific task just because they have limiting believes about why they can’t do so. They might be qualified to do something in every other area of life, but if they are not prepared to face life in their minds, they will be unlikely to make it in reality. 

Oppositely, optimists see possibility even in the grimmest of the affairs. This is why, despite their many limitations, they are often outperforming their pessimistic counterparts, simply because they try to do something, even if they ultimately will fail to do so. Personally, I had to have a lot of optimism in writing my book for six years, as even a little bit of doubt could have stopped this process.

Of course, in the case of my flatmate, he is not a pessimist in all aspects of his life, as he can talk very passionately about his job where he is performing very well. And yet, this one event of optimism (and maybe a few others) can trick us into believing that we are more positive than negative. However, if we are negative 90% of the time and only positive during the remaining 10%, does it make us optimistic or pessimistic? 

Did you like this post?

Click on a smiles to rate it.

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

Be the first to rate this post!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

14 thoughts on “Closet Pessimist? Challenge Your Negative Beliefs and Negativity Bias”

  1. Like!! Great article post. Really thank you! Really Cool. Koren Griffith Jonme

  2. My brother recommended I may like this blog. He was once totally right. Mia Archer Vergos

  3. Thanks again for the article. Much thanks again. Keep writing. Adel Gus Milson

  4. Appreciate you sharing, great blog article. Thanks Again. Want more. Maryjo Pooh Gean

  5. I must confess that it looks very risky investments in digital currencies, until I started reading and researching TRADER. Wonderful. Jemie Jervis Karolyn

  6. Eliminate all forms of contact with him. That is how relationships happen and it is the secret to dating success. Martie Feliks Tenney

  7. Awesome post. I am a regular visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I will be a frequent visitor for a long time. Daffie Herculie Wilmar

  8. ZBIXt7 I will immediately grab your rss feed as I can at find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you ave any? Please let me know in order that I could subscribe. Thanks. Ofelia Fransisco Correy

  9. Hi there, I believe your web site could possibly be having browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Apart from that, wonderful website! Elnora Dex Gowrie

  10. My brother suggested I may like this blog. He was totally right. Orella Rafi Ignacia Laure Welby Gwendolyn

  11. Thankyou for this post, I am a big fan of this website would like to go on updated. Kate Antonin Dryfoos

  12. You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the greatest websites online. I will highly recommend this site! Serene Tybalt Doralyn

  13. It would be great to try this theme for my businesses Glenn Danie Kostival

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Finally, after 6 years of writing, my first book is out: Optimal Happiness: The Fastest Way To Reach Your Happiest Potential. This book puts together all the best knowledge of this website, revealing the ultimate formula for happiness. This happiness transcends traditional and positive psychology, as it addresses the question of happiness maximization and optimization, which went so far disregarded by current scientific literature. Be one of the first to get your copy and become happy today, 100% money back guaranteed!

Recent Posts

Or Follow Us On